oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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