I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize