things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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