if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize