now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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