I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize