Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
