He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
