Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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