He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
