What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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