Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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