We won't sleep together?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
