my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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