You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
