It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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