i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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