we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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