Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Get your hand out of your ass!

  (734): View more from Michigan

  how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?

  (650): View more from California

  In your belly button

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  (650): Get your hand out of your ass! (734): how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..? (650): In your belly button http://tfl.nu/hvbh
  Replies (3) Good night (885) Bad night (1149)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.

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  (317): It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms. http://tfl.nu/gh72
  Replies (25) Good night (2822) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!

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  (506): Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT! http://tfl.nu/lyyu
  Replies (3) Good night (701) Bad night (3508) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"

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  (607): then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother" http://tfl.nu/te5y
  Replies (19) Good night (875) Bad night (4325) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.

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  (407): Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast. http://tfl.nu/8b17
  Replies (11) Good night (5247) Bad night (1029)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...

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  (812): No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours... http://tfl.nu/gctx
  Replies (40) Good night (1211) Bad night (3597) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom

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  (925): I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom http://tfl.nu/lg7c
  Replies (6) Good night (2872) Bad night (897) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am

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  (201): I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am http://tfl.nu/u8uu
  Replies (15) Good night (3709) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"

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  (403): Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters" http://tfl.nu/r2rb
  Replies (6) Good night (2447) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?

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  (913): Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar? http://tfl.nu/6f8e
  Replies (10) Good night (2197) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent

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  (+44): In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent http://tfl.nu/3kq5
  Replies (12) Good night (3595) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner

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  (330): I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner http://tfl.nu/m02y
  Replies (7) Good night (1880) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.

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  (803): yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham. http://tfl.nu/2zl2
  Replies (4) Good night (2083) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy

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  (989): I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy http://tfl.nu/as9c
  Replies (5) Good night (2254) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.

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  (206): I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month. http://tfl.nu/ayye
  Replies (19) Good night (1482) Bad night (1068) Order T-Shirt

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