Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.

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  (631) Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you. http://tfl.nu/pf1f
  Replies (14) Good night (1270) Bad night (617)
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  (707): View more from California

  Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?

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  (707): Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried? http://tfl.nu/0ae3
  Replies (21) Good night (558) Bad night (1454)
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits

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  (707): I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits http://tfl.nu/21ol
  Replies (24) Good night (1868) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.

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  (512): just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever. http://tfl.nu/ittj
  Replies (69) Good night (4640) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer

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  (253): I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer http://tfl.nu/v4f1
  Replies (32) Good night (5561) Bad night (1238)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine

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  (+44): The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine http://tfl.nu/6flp
  Replies (12) Good night (1086) Bad night (3762)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you

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  (305): quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you http://tfl.nu/hg35
  Replies (9) Good night (5268) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.

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  (229): I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant. http://tfl.nu/p9a2
  Replies (10) Good night (617) Bad night (1540)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike

  (1-914): View more from New York

  Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?

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  (914): He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike (1-914): Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles? http://tfl.nu/k5nf
  Replies (1) Good night (1755) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.

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  (412): I am the sex elephant in the room. Again. http://tfl.nu/d7uz
  Replies (5) Good night (1093) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway

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  (818): So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway http://tfl.nu/rhtw
  Replies (1) Good night (581) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really

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  (806): I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really http://tfl.nu/rgm5
  Replies (4) Good night (607) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.

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  (815): i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar. http://tfl.nu/c912
  Replies (5) Good night (465) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.

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  (705): He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously. http://tfl.nu/od66
  Replies (3) Good night (452) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?

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  (954): So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night? http://tfl.nu/6630
  Replies (1) Good night (545) Bad night (259)

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