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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.

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• (858): View more from California

  last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school

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• (845): View more from New York

  They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.

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