Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.

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  (443): There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now. http://tfl.nu/lz21
  Replies (37) Good night (819) Bad night (2087)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow

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  (941): so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow http://tfl.nu/gsjr
  Replies (15) Good night (3411) Bad night (603)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)

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  (303): Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!) http://tfl.nu/z6cg
  Replies (49) Good night (8102) Bad night (1173)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.

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  (206): This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/tgbz
  Replies (11) Good night (2915) Bad night (792)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.

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  (973): her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it. http://tfl.nu/lrhx
  Replies (10) Good night (5252) Bad night (881)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.

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  (519): ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry. http://tfl.nu/wsym
  Replies (11) Good night (6708) Bad night (862)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE

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  (314): BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE http://tfl.nu/wuvh
  Replies (5) Good night (2348) Bad night (708)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.

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  (931): Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult. http://tfl.nu/v17w
  Replies (10) Good night (1282) Bad night (472)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand

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  (304): I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand http://tfl.nu/6s03
  Replies (10) Good night (761) Bad night (1016)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult

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  (941): Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult http://tfl.nu/exna
  Replies (8) Good night (2003) Bad night (502)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.

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  (864): That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it. http://tfl.nu/a8sj
  Replies (4) Good night (585) Bad night (353)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.

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  (517): I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish. http://tfl.nu/ztbe
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (312)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.

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  (580): Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style. http://tfl.nu/uibp
  Replies (3) Good night (178) Bad night (474)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Sadly that explains a lot.

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  (734): Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka. (1-734): Sadly that explains a lot. http://tfl.nu/6w41
  Replies (0) Good night (502) Bad night (182)
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  (585): View more from New York

  We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE

  (585): View more from New York

  AND NO VODKA

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  (585): We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE (585): AND NO VODKA http://tfl.nu/16y5
  Replies (2) Good night (183) Bad night (476)

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