Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.

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  (832): Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night. http://tfl.nu/2nh3
  Replies (20) Good night (4443) Bad night (2170)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth

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  (518): I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth http://tfl.nu/kl4h
  Replies (20) Good night (7698) Bad night (1219)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?

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  (218): If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air? http://tfl.nu/c5re
  Replies (35) Good night (4948) Bad night (1419)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."

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  (786): He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets." http://tfl.nu/13ll
  Replies (17) Good night (7776) Bad night (1390)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...

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  (757): she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them... http://tfl.nu/ior4
  Replies (23) Good night (5466) Bad night (1694)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy

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  (973): That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy http://tfl.nu/xazq
  Replies (18) Good night (8847) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you

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  (815): You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you http://tfl.nu/fukp
  Replies (9) Good night (1970) Bad night (598)
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  (518): View more from New York

  We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical 

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  (518): We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical  http://tfl.nu/e1go
  Replies (8) Good night (1599) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule

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  (863): I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule http://tfl.nu/m3mw
  Replies (3) Good night (1162) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...

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  (914): Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much... http://tfl.nu/zii3
  Replies (1) Good night (789) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  . Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.

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  (615): . Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this. http://tfl.nu/oczw
  Replies (6) Good night (1445) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ

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  (443): Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ http://tfl.nu/d2b1
  Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.

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  (407): I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter. http://tfl.nu/mj4q
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.

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  (+44): The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking. http://tfl.nu/xzp9
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé

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  (270): You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé http://tfl.nu/0jee
  Replies (0) Good night (288) Bad night (154)

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