I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.