I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
