ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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