omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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