i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Randomize
