Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
