I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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