Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
