You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
