You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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