they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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