It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
