im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
