Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
