I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
someone owes me an orgasm
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
