So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
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She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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