he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
