hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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