Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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