Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Use "feeling words"
Yay
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
