she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize