I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
