My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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