Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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