So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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