New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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