omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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