well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
