found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize