no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
