giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
