I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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