last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
