You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
