I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize