White coat. Heels.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
