he puts the penis in happiness.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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