She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
