turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
